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Is Your Marriage Heading Toward Divorce? (Track This Article)

Marriage, if successful, can be pure bliss for people. This is because it has the potential of positively impacting all aspects of their lives and personality. The partners are supposed to nurture and support each other emotionally and provide a shoulder to lean on in bad patches of life. They pool their finances and assets to increase their wealth and purchasing power, and afford a higher standard of living than they could as bachelors. The home they create provides a feeling of security to them and becomes a comfortable and secure nest to which they can return every evening to recharge their batteries. The partners get a sense of achievement and emotional fulfilment by having and rearing children so that they can grow up to be useful members of the society.

However, there are many marriages where things do not work out as planned, and actually become hell for the partners. This may occur due to many reasons such as emotional or physical abuse, infidelity and extra-marital affairs, lack of financial resources to afford an adequate lifestyle and general boredom. Relationships marred by these problems become dysfunctional in a few years and usually end in marital separation and divorce.

Divorce does not come totally out of the blue, however. If you are perceptive and keep your eyes and ears tuned to signs of marital distress, you can pick up quite a few signals that not everything is right with the relationship and it is fraying at the edges. When the marriage starts going downhill, a certain coldness develops between the partners and they begin to drift apart. The spark goes missing from the relationship, and the husband and wife find it difficult to be intimate with each other.

They prefer to remain out of the house most of the time in the company of friends. Also, they start keeping secrets from each other. There may also be frequent quarrels and blame games, and the partners may even stop having intimacy with each other. These are all alarm bells that are ringing loud and clear that the marriage is reaching the edge of a precipice from where pulling back will be very difficult, if not impossible.

The moment you get an inkling of the impending doom of your marital relationship, both of you can do a lot many things to bring your marriage back on track. This is especially very important if you have children. They are affected the most by parental divorce and many carry permanent scars on their psyche for the rest of their lives.

So how to bring the missing romance back in your life? The first and most important thing you can do is to have a heart-to-heart chat with each other and discuss all the problem areas – the things that you do not like about each other, the bad habits, and the flash points. Once you have identified these, you should vow to each other to try your best to avoid those.

Going out socializing to spend some quality time together is one of the best ways to rekindle the spark that has gone missing between the two of you. You should make it a point to go out at least once every fortnight all alone, leaving the kids back home. Having dinners together at your favourite restaurant is a very good idea, where you should try to recreate the type of relationship that used to exist between the two of you before marriage. Another option is to go to a movie together.

Travelling is very effective to put your marital troubles in the correct perspective because it extracts you from your day-to-day surroundings and enables you to look at your life in the context of a larger canvas. Many marriages have been saved from divorce because the partners went on a long vacation together and came back freshly committed to their relationship. Any kind of travelling and outdoor excursion, such as camping, hiking and rafting, will make both of you come together again in a close bond.

Marriage is something very precious because it is a very intimate relationship with another individual. There are immense emotional benefits for you for the rest of your life if it succeeds. It should not be taken casually or broken due to ego issues or on flimsy pretexts. You owe it to yourself and your children to make it a success.

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James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see www.quickie-divorce.com

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